Yes, these are bad

...but on a day like today it's either this or a post about those pesky Lutherans.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
A: He had no body to take him.

Q: How do you mend a jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What is a monster's favorite game?
A: Swallow the leader.

Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost and a the letter K?
A: A book.

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit!

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling

Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in.

Q: Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.

Happy Halloween!

I guess I'm just not cool enough for the Chilean penguins

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Your personality type is RCOAI

You are reserved, calm, organized, accommodating, and intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Norfolk, Oklahoma City, Nashville, Tucson, Dallas/Ft. Worth, San Antonio, Indianapolis, Memphis, Milwaukee, Orange County, Los Angeles and these international countries/regions Indonesia, Ukraine, Denmark, Middle East, Czech Republic, India, Caribbean, Romania, Hungary, Greece, Guam, Israel, South Korea, Norway, Mexico

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
City Reviews at CityCulture.org

A couple things:
1) The Metroplex!
2) I guess the Czech Republic is almost as cool as Chile.
3) I have lots of furniture to rearrange today. Obviously, I will either be a very good person and make amazing progress this afternoon (translation: blogging will be light) or I will be a very bad person and play with quizzes and my cat (translation: lots of blogging).
4) I had a really great week capped by a sudden flash of musical inspiration around 2:30 this morning. Is it too weird if my perpetually-in-progress requiem quotes significant sections of "The Munsters" theme?

Busy, busy, busy

I may or may not get around to posting again this week. I have an exciting guest coming to town and I imagine I'll be fairly distracted with the otters at the Fort Worth Zoo and the Kiefer exhibition at the Modern and the hamburgers at Kincaid's and Friday night football and (hopefully) lots of cooking. Though I'll have e-mail access and computer fun, I just don't think I'll be inclined to post much. BUT, I've been gathering Halloween jokes for when I return later in the week, so you'll be getting a good dose of ghoul and witch and skeleton-walking-into-a-bar humor. I have a couple of favors to ask while I'm otherwise occupied:

1. Look at how many cool people there are over there on the right-hand side of your screen. Seriously! Most awesome people ever, and they write a ton of great things. If you torture yourself by reading stuff here, you will be thrilled to see the coolness out there.

2. Put a few names into the Advertising Slogan Generator. Where else can you generate poetry like this?
"Leaves Your Terry Teachout Minty not Mediciney."

3. Play with this.

4. Send me Halloween jokes! Or you can just send me corny jokes. (I'm always in the market for those.) If you do have a Halloweeny joke, though, don't post it in the comments box - drop me an e-mail or else we'll spoil the surprise.

5. Have a wonderful week!

Oh, why isn't it tomorrow evening already?

That's what I've been thinking all day long...

Things found today while cleaning

1. An unopened package of sharpened glitter pencils
2. Extra bag of kitty treats (under the bed?!)
3. Copy of doctor's bill from when I was hit by a car on a Key Club trip
4. Bottle of coppery nail polish
5. Random piece of notebook paper with "I (heart) Coolidge" graffiti (probably high-school vintage)
6. Travel-size bottle of shampoo
7. My first notebook of Latin exercises
8. Several pages from an unfinished choral setting of a Pablo Neruda poem
9. 5 white socks
10. Tube of chocolate lip gloss
11. $4.38 in change

Jim would be proud

During the work week, I get to eat lunch on Wednesday and Thursday. Thus, I love Wednesdays and Thursdays (and Fridays, when I get home around 3). Today, lunch is especially great because not only do I get to eat, but I get to come home and wonder what in the world I was thinking by posting something so poorly worded this morning. It kind of seems pointless to pull it since it's several hours later and I don't really have time to rewrite it right now. So, I'm just wanting to kind of apologize in advance for the post directly under this. Sound good?

Oh, and if the bad writing isn't enough to drive you away, this might be:

What do you call death by pig stampede?
Sooey-cide

I'm so out of the loop

Why did I not know until today that there was a Kiefer exhibition going on in my hometown?

I'm really looking forward to getting out there as soon as I can. It will be interesting, at the very least. The museum has two Kiefer pieces in its permanant collection that are so virtuosically displayed that it is difficult to divorce the pieces from the rooms in which they are displayed. It's difficult to picture the pieces outside of the rooms, but it is equally as hard to imagine the rooms containing anything else. The piece that is shown when you follow the link is housed in an elliptical room (really) right past the entrance to the main gallery. Opposite the opening to the elliptical room there is a wall with this. It's quite the opening to a museum trip. I have to have gone a couple dozen times in the past year and a half and the experience of walking into that gallery never fails to stun me into silence.

I'm excited because I've seen the two Kiefers here and then one other in a very dissapointing modern art gallery this summer. It will be interesting to see how a mega-dose of Kiefer hits the system, anyway.

The only drawback, of course, is that any time there is a special exhibition, much of the permanant collection gets displaced. One of the greatest strengths of the museum here is its small but very tight collection*. I've often thought that people should not be able to say that they "don't like modern art" until they come to see the museum here. It's hard for me to imagine anyone still thinking that after they see a collection that is as carefully selected and treated with as much care as this one is here in Fort Worth.

*"Small but tight" seems to be the M.O. of all the Fort Worth art museums. We're incredibly small, but top notch in what we have.

What do you call an eye doctor living on one of the Alaskan islands?
An optical Aleutian.

I know Jamie talked about this earlier

here. But... you want to know my favorite part from the Chewbacca becomes American story?

Mayhew met his wife at a science-fiction convention and married her six years ago, according to his Web biography. He said he became an American citizen because his wife is a Texan.

Awwwwwww. (I'm such a girl... and feeling better about some of the nerdier facets of my life. ;))

A list of five words I'd like to use today

1. lofty
2. exuberance
3. plaintive
4. depleted
5. manic

They're just some words that I don't the chance to use often enough.
(Runners up for the list: eerie and esquizofrenia)

Boooooooo!

I'm with The Yankee on this one. He also made a good point earlier in the game:

I do think it's interesting that ND's fortunes waned during the period the school was deemphasizing its Catholic nature, and has rebounded now that they're bringing back Eucharistic Processions, etc.... just sayin'....

My reading of the game: God is saying "Good start, guys - keep it up and there will really be something to cheer about!" ;)

I missed the window of opportunity, clearly

Conversation with my mother this weekend:

Mom: "I was cleaning out the attic the other day and you'll never guess what I found."
Me: "Oh?"
Mom: "Yeah, do you remember those ALF puppets?"
Me: "Oh my goodness! I loved ALF. Those puppets were awesome."
Mom: "I thought you'd get a kick out of hearing about them."

Conversation with my mom this morning:

Me: "So, I was thinking about coming over to see those ALF puppets. Maybe I'll bring Coco."
Mom: "Oh. I got rid of them."
Me: "Ummmmm... Didn't you say that you found them this weekend?"
Mom: "Well, yeah, but I didn't think that we needed to keep them around. They were really old."

Moms are weird.

Theremin podcasting

Here.

Welcome to the only regular radio show featuring music for theremin in the world.

Hard to believe that it's the only one, huh?

Things I've learned so far today

1. I've mispronounced "sparkling" my entire life.
2. When your brother shows you a picture of a piece of jewelry and asks what you think, it's good to know whether or not he's already purchased the piece for his girlfriend's birthday before you give your real opinion.

3. Coral nail polish fades to orange, and when you wear black shoes, people will ask if you are getting ready for Halloween.
4. While I find the idea of spending $25 on a dress for myself outrageous, I will not think twice about spending an amount close to that on replacement dog and cat toys and treats.
5. Dogs seem to appreciate the purchased items than cats do.

Just an observation

I am completely unable to write objectively about the new Wallace and Gromit movie. I decided that I had to like it within the first couple of minutes when Hans Zimmer successfully John Williams-ed, well, John Williams. It was the most delicious musical moment I've had in a movie theater.

I'm just crackers about cheese!

Just got back from the new Wallace and Gromit movie. (I know! So cool!)

The movie itself was quite great, but I was mildly disappointed with the short shown before. Even though it had both penguins and a polar bear, it was merely pleasant.

Anyway, I'm off to watch A History of Violence. How much you wanna bet I'm the only one making that a double feature today?

Vibrato is verboten

Or, at least that's what most clarinet teachers will tell you. I mean, they'll make sure to say it's OK if you're playing jazz, but you should never, never, never, never use it when you're playing real music.

If you ever find yourself in a bar with a clarinetist and you really want to see sparks fly (and you don't want to go for the easy "What do you think of Richard Stolzman?" kill) just ask if the Copland concerto should be played with vibrato. Seriously. It would probably be the most entertaining 15 minutes of your life.

We all have our own pet reasons for our stance. Some people say that the clarinet tone is just too pure for vibrato to be of any use. Others will tell you that overtone series of the clarinet is fragile** and vibrato exacerbates the problem. There are people who dislike vibrato because they feel that it is mainly employed to cover up deficiencies in a player's tuning. Why clarinetists feel the need to give a bunch of reasons for a subjective evaluation is beyond me.

In any case, the "top five" at About Last Night has an interesting little inclusion this week. (Not that I was tipped off to it, or anything...) You see, Reginald Kell is something of, well, the Robert Bork of the clarinet world. He is divisive. He's amazingly talented. He is incredibly influential. Admitting to the wrong people that you like Reginald Kell is a big deal. Why? Well, for one, Reginald Kell played with vibrato.

And it's not just an understated vibrato some of the time. No, Reginald Kell flaunts his use of vibrato in everything - even Mozart. What's more is that Kell does crazy things with interpretations. When he's a soloist, he freely decides when he's going to take the tempo of the rest of his group and when he's just going to go off and do whatever he likes. (Rubato? Fancy word for thief!) Kell was a madman. Sometimes, these experiments in tempo were novelty for the sake of being novel. They just didn't work. But, when he got it right, there was no way a listener could ever hear a passage being played any other way and have it sound "right."

This next part will shock the heck out of my college friends (and expose me as a complete chawbacon), so I'll suggest they stop reading: I'm very much in the Reginald Kell fanclub. (Yeah, I know you'll take away my clarinetist credentials, the card's already in the mail.) What I admire about Kell's playing is that he always had conviction about what he was doing. It may not always work out, but when I'm listening, I'm always drawn in. I want to know what is going to happen next and where Kell is going to take me. It's an incredibly seductive style of playing. It's not for everyone, but I like it, and I don't care what that means to my clarinetist brethren. ;)

I'm not saying that I don't love Frederick Thurston or the absolutely wonderful Thea King or any of the other long line of English clarinet rockstars, I just like Kell, too. It may be unsophisticated, but sometimes taste is.

*Ohhhh, we could all have fun if more people played the clarinet and hung out in bars. Can you imagine?!
**Heard in college. At a great music school. From a professor. Even though I asked a lot of questions, I still have no idea what he meant.

Mornings are fun!

Too perfect.

In other news: The Big Battle of the English Clarinetists has been postponed due to, well, me having to leave the house. Plus, I don't think Thea's had enough time to get a really good reeed...

I've finally made it!

A 19 year-old in Queensland thinks I'm old.

I can see all sorts of doors opening before me: Cheap dinners... good parking spots at church (at the early Mass!!)... a very influential special interest group...

Life is going to be awesome from here on out!

No flat tires today

Yaaaay!

Later tonight (or tomorrow morning... depending on how much I really need to unwind): Reginald Kell vs. Thea King

Yeah. You thought the Miers nomination got people's blood boiling. You have no idea.

Oh, yeah

And I had a flat tire today. And nobody stopped to help.

Granted, I had the knowledge and tools to do it myself, but I always thought I lived in a friendlier place. *sigh*

I think I will have a glass of wine, after all.

Today is a day I really wished I didn't teach lessons

I came home this evening, put in a movie and started to snuggle with my kitty in front of the computer. The plan was to skim a couple of my "must read" blogs and then get lost in the nice, warm glow of a glass of wine. My plan was disrupted when I saw this post, from a man whose opinion I highly respect. And then I went further down the rabbit hole. After I caught my breath, I went to the home of another blogger on my list...

Straws?! Multiple camels?! What is going on here?

Look, this pick reveals something about Bush that should have been plain as day to most people- he distrusts the establishment, especially in judicial matters. I mean, I may have an education from a mediocre Texas university and a small musician brain, but that was pretty clear to me from the get-go*. The fact that we are so shocked at a pick from "the inside" is insane. How in the world is he supposed to change the culture of a judicial body that he clearly distrusts without picking someone he knows well? He's heard from all sides of the conservative movement "If you pick another Souter..." and the threats that follow. Here, at the very least, he is saying "I vouch for this woman's conservative credentials." You know what? I believe him on that one. You know what else? This isn't Bush playing politics because I'm fairly certain that he would have made the same pick with or without a Republican majority in the Senate. If for nothing else, I respect him on that point. Angus, for someone who was advocating (in jest, I know) a pick of a former college professor of yours, you're going to have to do a lot of talking to convince me that you can change the culture of a political body without closely knowing the person you are nominating. You're telling me that if you were President in 30 years, you wouldn't nominate one of your law school friends to the Court? What if you truly thought that person was the most qualified for the job?

Cronyism is only a fair charge, really, if Miers is unqualified for the nominated position. I don't know if she is or if she isn't**. I thought that's what the confirmation hearings were for. I could be wrong. (Remember, small musician brain! Please tell me what they are designed to do.) I do know that it's really silly to be surprised, but very reasonable to be disappointed (if you think she is unqualified).

*I guess I'm not so upset because he never seemed like "My Guy." Phil Gramm? My Guy. Calvin Coolidge? My Guy. Steve Forbes? My (uncapitalized) guy.
**Please tell me why she isn't. Seriously. Then I can be outraged, too. I knew nothing at all about Roberts and as soon as I heard that a couple people that I respect a good deal and are a great deal smarter and better informed on the issue were satisfied, I was thrilled. The same thing goes here. Basically, I'm just giving her the same benefit of the doubt that I gave Roberts.

UPDATE: Really, just a tiny bit of clarification. Bush has been a big disappointment to me in matters relating to economic policy. Cutting taxes when it wasn't really politically necessary was a step in the right direction, but undid only so much for me in that regard. If this is a case of someone who is obviously underqualified for the position, I guess the difference is that it doesn't change much for me. I was never really on the camel, I was always just kind of walking beside the camel happy that it was, at least, a camel and not a bear.

It's too bad that it's too late to start Patton now

Things like this are what I find when The Yankee leaves me unattended.
Money quote:

Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie

It's too bad we don't have the chat logs from the Yalta conference. What I would give to know the screenname of Alger Hiss...

It's October 2

Which means it is the perfect day to display the most awesome Texas flag of all:

Short version of the Battle of Gonzales:
Texas settlers in the present-day San Antonio area are given a spiked cannon to protect them from the Indians. Four-ish years later, the Mexican military authorities recall this "loaned" cannon and request that it be sent back with the touring military presence. As you can see, this goes over real well.

I'd need to modify it for penguin use, though

This is so going in the score for my opera.

A great way to start off the morning

My dog when he was a puppy.