A Glass of Chianti

Friday, September 30, 2005

"Hey, will you make out with my girlfriend?"

I was sitting down to write this entry on why I think my students have a real problem with playing the French clarinet repertoire. (Summary: They tend to want to make the music profound. There's not one profound thought or philosophical expression in it - it's all atmosphere.) As I was doing it, however, it kind of occurred to me that, well, that's not really what I wanted to talk about. What I really wanted to do was complain just a bit and, since I live in this wonderful age, I could do just that with no repercussions! Yaaay!

That title up there is why I tend to drink at home as opposed to going out to do so. On four separate occasions some guy has approached me, asked what I'm drinking, engaged in some small talk and then out of nowhere asked that precise question. (To be fair, only two incidents involved the guy's girlfriend. The other two were requests to make out with other random girls at the bar). I realize that I'm kind of behind the curve on most social conventions, but when did that become an appropriate request? The fact that multiple guys have so nonchalantly asked means that, at least part of the time, this question has been met with an "OK." When did girls start doing this? It's not enough that I'm cute and dolled up and smart because, apparently, the ideal girl is one who is all of that and who will willingly help fulfill some guy's latent lesbian fantasies. It was bad enough when I felt moderately uncomfortable because I wasn't dressed as quite as provocatively as the rest of the girls (no matter where, it seemed). Now, I have to dress like a whore and kiss other girls to be attractive? I think I'll just make my own gimlets at home, thank you very much. The whole enterprise is just sad and desperate and full of lowest-common-denominator behavior.

Look, I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable feeling out of place most of the time. I know that I'm pretty socially inept. I don't really feel like I belong in my church, I haven't had a consistent social group since I finished with college, my girlfriends are all married and are getting less and less diligent about returning my calls, and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I will probably never have a great circle of friends who like to talk about art and movies and anything that isn't written by the latest mega-church pastor. I don't care probably because I'm an odd person who is kind of content to cook mushroom tarts and try a new wine every couple of weeks. I know it makes me an incredibly lame person to say this but I really don't find the idea of kissing a random girl to be that exciting. I'm very sorry.

*sigh* What one writes about when one doesn't have a conversation partner for a couple of days...

Not to worry, though, for there is a stupid joke in the next entry! :)