A Glass of Chianti

Friday, June 17, 2005

So, How Does a Nice Catholic Girl...

...handle a request for "Only the Good Die Young?"

By playing the hell out of the chart, of course. (Let's leave aside how I got involved in the request for this tonight...)

Frankly, I've never really understood the whole special plane of offensiveness that this song sits on with some. Sure, the subject matter is not exactly appropriate for consumption on a regular basis. Really, though, we never do know if Virginia caves in to the exhortations of the speaker. I'm a little skeptical that she would. For me, it all comes down to this verse:

You got a nice white dress and a party on your Confirmation.
You got a brand new soul,
Mmmm, and a cross of gold.
But Virginia they didn'’t give you quite enough information.
You didn'’t count on me
When you were counting on your rosary.

Would any woman be swayed by a man who said, "Hey, you have a great dress?" I mean, it's not like he said she looked good in the dress. The fact that he noticed the dress before the, I'm sure, beautiful Virginia makes me wonder about him a bit...

Now, two lines later could be the key. If he's referencing William Jennings Bryan, I might be able to erase the questionable tone of the previous line. In fact, he'd probably get me one baby step closer to sleeping with him, but... somehow I doubt that Billy Joel is doing that here. He, in fact, didn't give me "quite enough information," and so I'd have no choice but to tell him to go on his merry way and attempt to seduce some other girl.

If my friends are right and every girl has (at minimum) one guy who tries to seduce her, I really hope my experience is better than this one. Billy Joel is certainly no Jonah Goldberg.