A Glass of Chianti

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Check your driver's license now

If it says something like "The Yankee" you need to read no further than this sentence (even though I still love you) because it has nothing to do with you.

OK. Now that we're alone can I tell you non- The Yankees something?

I'm kind of not doing well.

I'm frustrated and a little overwhelmed and, well, so very, very isolated right now. And, yes, I know it could be much worse. And, yes, I know that I shouldn't be complaining. And honestly, I do keep the vast majority of it to myself because I know that it isn't fair to add to the general Yankeeland stress level. But (since it's just between you and me) I'm pretty worried about some things. I won't detail them here as it's not the appropriate forum but the fact that I really don't have another forum is one of the things that I think is making this whole experience even more upsetting than it should be. Plus, I'm sick.

Just in case you were wondering, it does really suck to be forever away from The Yankee. The physical distance makes me feel impotent when I'm trying to help because I can't gauge the effectiveness of anything I say or sense if there are any subjects I need to stay away from or if there is something under the surface that's bothering him because there's nothing to base anything evaluation off of. I must say, though, that the physical distance isn't half as bad as the general feeling of being out of touch. I never know what is going on until after it happens. More troublesome is that I'm very much in the dark because I know that I don't know the right questions to ask or the questions that I should avoid or any way to make anything better. Because I don't know an alternative, I just sit here with kisses at the ready feeling pretty helpless and unprepared overall. It's a lame and ineffective approach, but it's the only one I've been able to come up with so far.

I just hate feeling so incompetent and so helpless.

I think that besides the whole continuing need to walk on eggshells for fear of the stress level not doing so would cause, the most frustrating thing is the fact that I'm unable to watch "Futurama" in the evenings. Honestly, I think if I had a good dose of holophoner, everything would be fine. Well, some holophoner opera and some penguins to give me a backrub and a haircut. So, if anyone has a penguin hanging around that they aren't using or some opera recording that they need to get rid of, I think I have an idea as to someone who would be able to benefit.